Friends
If you have clicked on this page, you are probably concerned about someone. Feel free to learn about how to help a friend in the page below, or just give us a call anytime at (631) 632-6720 to talk through the situation and get individualized feedback. It is also important to remind you:
| If a student may be in immediate danger, contact University Police by dialing 911 from a campus landline, or (631) 632-3333 from a cell phone or off-campus phone. |
It isn't easy to support a friend in distress. We frequently have students contact CAPS when they want to assist a friend and need support or advice on how to help. CAPS is here to consult: give us a call!
We also have a few general tips:
1. Don't keep secrets when you are concerned about safety.
If you are concerned that your friend may hurt themselves or someone else, speak up. In emergency situations, call University Police at 911 from a campus landline, or (631) 632-3333 from a cell-phone. If you don't think your friend is in immediate danger, but you are concerned, call CAPS to discuss the situation. CAPS offers phone support after hours from professional counselors, so you can get assistance 24-7.
A counselor may encourage you to submit a referral to the CARE Team at 631-632-CARE (2273) or care@stonybrook.edu. This referral is not designed to get your friend "in trouble," but to support their ongoing safety and awareness of appropriate support services.
2. Check out our How to Help page.
It can give you some tips on when to refer, and how to have that conversation. Also, check out this video to see an example of what a referring a friend to CAPS could sound like:
3. Take care of your own needs.
Unless there is an immediate concern about safety (see the first piece of advice), your first priority should be yourself. If you find that you are struggling to set boundaries with your friend or you aren't focusing on your own needs, it is important that you get some support. CAPS may be a great place for you to check out too.