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Supporting A Friend or Colleague

Supporting someone who has experienced discrimination can be a challenging and emotional experience. It's important to remember that the most important thing you can do is be there for your friend and provide them with support.  Remember that supporting someone who has experienced discrimintion can be an ongoing process. 

Listen Actively: It's important to listen to your friend without judgment or interruption.  Be empathetic but impartial. Allow them to share their experience at their own pace and in their own words.  Be wary of asking too many questions or expressing stong opinions about what happened. 

Believe & Validate: Discrimination can be a difficult experience that can be hard for people to talk about.   Do not question or express doubt regarding their account of what happened.  Do not try to justify the actions of another and explain what they "really meant" ot that they were "probably only kidding." 

Provide Emotional Support: Offer emotional support by letting them know that you care about them and that you are there to support them.   Offer to be there for them in whatever way they need, whether that means listening, helping them find resources, or simply being present.

Provide Information:  There are many resources and support services available both on and off-campus.  This may include counseling services, legal services, medical services, and advocacy.  Encourage them to support.   Help them find the resources they need.

Encourage Reporting: Reporting discrimintion can be an important step.  It can also ensure that your friend is safe and protected from further harassment, gets access to services and support and to prevent future incidents that may impact others.  

Respect Boundaries:  Respect their boundaries, choices and decisions.   Let them know that you're there to support them, but also respect their decisions.

Respect Privacy:  No gossiping.   It important that you respect their privacy of anyone involved in an incident of discrimination either as a target, witness or someone who has been accused.  

Supporting A Witness

Discrimintion can be very upsetting and stressful for everyone who experiences or witnesses the incident.   

Believe Them:  Let them know that you believe their account of what happened. Validate their experience and let them know that it is not their fault.

Provide Emotional Support:  Provide emotional support by letting them know that you care about them and that you are there to support them. Offer to listen to them and provide a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

Provide information:  Provide the witness with information about resources and support services available on campus and in the community.

Respect Privacy:  It is important to respect the privacy of the witness and avoid sharing their story or details of the incident with others without their permission.

Encourage Self-Care: Encourage the witness to practice self-care and engage in activities that promote their well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.

Support the Process:  It is important to support the process and allow the University to investigate the incident. While it is important to support the witness, it is also important to respect the rights of the target of the behavior  and the accused and allow the process to proceed.

Supporting A Respondent

It is important to approach the issue of supporting someone who has been accused of discrimination with care and sensitivity. Remember that everyone involved in the situation, including the accused person, the accuser, and any witnesses, deserves respect and support.

No Judgement:  If someone has been accused of discriminatin, they may feel isolated and scared. It is important to listen to them without judgment and let them share their story.

Support Services: Encourage them to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help them process their feelings and provide guidance on how to proceed. You can also help them find support groups or other resources that may be helpful.

Respect Privacy:  It is important to respect the privacy of a person who has been accused of discriminatory behavior. Do not share their story or details of the incident with others without their permission.

Avoid Victim-Blaming: Avoid victim-blaming or assuming that the accusation is false without evidence. Remember that discrimination is a serious issue, and it is important to take all incidents seriously.

Support the Process:  It is important to support the process and allow the University or the police to investigate the incident. While it is important to support your friend, it is also important to respect the rights of the accuser and allow the process to proceed.

Educate yourself:  Educate yourself about the impact of discrimintion. This can help you better understand the issues at stake and provide better support.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a friend who has been involved in an incident of difficult can be a difficult journey.   Be patient, understanding, and supportive throughout the process.  Take care of yourself and seek support from others if you need it.